By (his brow-beaten, unpaid collaborators) Cynthia Rickard & Robert Mcferren
(published over his objections)
Everyone in Youngstown liked Christmas a lot, but Bertram who lived on the North Side did not. Bertram hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season Now please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason It could be his eye patch is pushed in too tight It could be his head isn't screwed on just right More likely, he’s missing the columns he wrote About lawmakers and presidents he would emote So he gathered them up, forcing colleagues to pick the ones to preserve for all time in a book They picked Jimbo, Michelle, Bull Moose and the Valley A chief justice and wiretaps and John McNally Barra and Tressel, Ryan, Ungaro Obama, the Donald, GM and Cafaro Iron Mike, Mike DeWine, Pelosi and Palin The Clintons, the Bushes, Dukakis and Reagan McCain and Mike Bloomberg, John Kasich and Sherrod Cleveland judges and agents, some bishops and Dellick Strickland and Turner, Romney and Tablack Portman, a prince, Mickey Mouse, Mickey Monus Wellington, Winbush, ICE, Al Adi BCI, YSU, FBI, Mitt Romney Brier Hill Jimmy and Cadillac Charlie, Strollo and Bernie, Terlecky and Ernie Mob meatballs, l’il Joey, the Crabs and canaries Jeff Riddle and Turnage, Watkins and Hoerig The Dinsios, Pinto, Violi, Terlecky Jeep Garano and Infante, Potts and Belinky Antonini, Sciortino, Philomena and Greene Turner, Gerberry, martians, Loree Betras and Binning, Meacham and Chance Rimedio-Righetti, Traficanti and Dann Ludt, Moliterno, Kimble, Adair Vukovich, Voinovich, Rusu, Engler Niser and Lordi, Carney, DeGise McKelvey, Maluso, Mustafa Ali Tikey and Kubic, Wyatt and Scotty Rosenbaum, Gains, Jay Williams and Kobly Tito and Petro, Evans, Tom Noe Clingan and Lyle, David Tod and Tom Carney Sweet and McCloud, Ritchie Davis, Magee Kolisar, Fingerhut, Householder, Sweeney Palermo, Romero, van Brocklin and Rich DeMarinis and Reardon, Wardrop, Fergus David Duke, Kathy Miller, O’Connells, O’Nesti Pelini and Jacobs, Licata and Fahey Sferra, Geletka, Dutton, DeLuca Mohip, Tutela, Hathorn and Stohla Jesse Jackson, Bob Kroner, McLaughlin, O’Brien Morford and Armour, Lynch and Lyden Chiu and Meshel, Welsh and DeJute Bernard and Bozanich, “Bart DeSalsa,” Ron Stoops Hartzell and Mo Man, Waite and Garea Armstrong and Bulgar, Blackwell and Fuda Blair, Flask, Polivka, Cartwright, Khawaja Cochran, Macejko, Kale-Pesta, Dave Johnson Reese, Cantalamessa, Anderson, Taft Palmer-Fernandez, Ulbricht, Habat Wilson and Husted, Sherlock, Sauline Conventions, elections, wins and defeats Tillerson, Gillibrand, Cruz and Finan Smith and Kamala, DeGross and Simpson Leathers Slappin’, Mike Morley, Bob Fitzer and Beto John Boehner, Montgomery, Zachariah and Petro Gilbane, LaTourette, Angelo and Mandel Womerization, Stoudt, and Alexander Cordray, Doc Memo, Jennings, Gutierrez Stankowski, McDonald’s, Sammarone, Tillis Katzmann, a DQ, a large flock of geese Valley cops, secret meetings, Espy, Mill Creek And as Christmas drew near, Bertram drove out of sight Mailing every last book, wishing all a good night.
Editor, No Holds Barred
Cynthia started a 41-year career with The Vindicator in Youngstown as a news reporter, and served as the paper’s first and only Warren Bureau Chief and Trumbull County columnist, then as Trumbull, Columbiana and Pennsylvania, and City editor, and was night and online editor when the newspaper closed its doors Aug. 31, 2019.
Cynthia started a 41-year career with The Vindicator in Youngstown as a news reporter, and served as the paper’s first and only Warren Bureau Chief and Trumbull County columnist, then as Trumbull, Columbiana and Pennsylvania, and City editor, and was night and online editor when the newspaper closed its doors Aug. 31, 2019.
Latest posts by Cynthia Rickard (see all)
- “Bertram’s Christmas Ode” - December 22, 2020
- No Holds Barred now also available in Columbus - November 30, 2020
- Fun with Fast Freddie - September 24, 2020